So I scoured the internet to find the most common misconceptions that people have with regards to proper condom use. Here’s a collection of what I found.

“Natural skin (lambskin) condoms provide better protection against the AIDS virus then latex condoms.”

Wrong! You got it backwards buddy… Lambskin condoms do NOT protect against STD’s. They only help prevent pregnancy. Latex condoms are the far better choice for two reasons. First of all they provide better protection against the transmission of STD’s, as previously stated. And secondly, who wants to stick their dick into a piece of lamb intestine?

“It can be put on just prior to ejaculation.”

This common misconception reminds me of a saying that I heard all through highschool, “I don’t need a condom, I’ll just pull out.” Let’s just say that one too many girls have been knocked up by the “I’ll just pull out” gag. Let me put it in simple words for the simple minded. If the boy goo, touches the girl goo, then this new goo potion can magically turn into your worst nightmare. Not to mention STD’s. Pretend like you poop STD’s. Not using a condom until just before ejaculation is like saying, “You don’t need to hold toilet paper in your hand while you wipe your ass, until the last pass. The last pass is the one that counts!” I think I made my point.

“Vaseline is a good lubricant to use with condoms.”

Ohhhhhhhh vaseline … that brings me way back to the good old days … you know before sex was done with a partner. Vaseline was like the lube that just kept on giving! The old “two-finger scoop” was what got me through middle school. Unfortunately, I’m sad to say that vaseline in all its glory is an evil oil-based lubricant. So unless you enjoy using a perforated condom, which some of you may, I would suggest that you steer clear of all oil-based lubes. The water based lubricants are the way to go. Vaseline and other oil-based lubricants react chemically with the latex material. They’ll chew through that latex rubber like a mouse chewin through cheese! That reminds me of the other upside that comes with using water based lubricant. Water based lube evaporates when exposed to air, not that fast mind you. However vaseline does NOT at all, and it leaves a sticky mess. If you’ve ever used vaseline before then you’d know what I’m talking about. The moral of the story is, when you’re having sex with a condom, forget about the two-finger scoop and settle for a healthy dose of slip-n-slide in a bottle instead.

“The condom is applied by rolling it tight over the end of the penis.”

I’m pretty sure that I’ve even done this one wrong once or twice. You know how most condoms have that “reservoir tip” or “condom nipple” as I like to call it? Well, apparently if you stretch the condom nipple tightly over the end of your dick, it may cause the condom nipple to pop when you blow your load. It pops if the condom nipple is flat since your cum has no where to go, and the added pressure can poke a hole right through the nipple. Now I’ve had condoms break before, but I’m not certain if it was because I had a flat condom nipple. Like seriously, I don’t think that I’m the only one without a riot issue water-canon for a dick.

“It is okay to ejaculate inside of a girl, as long as you’re wearing a condom.”

Most people would say yes, but there are a number of things that can go wrong during and after ejaculation. First, if you have applied the condom on wrong such that you do NOT have a condom nipple, the condom can break when you cum. More importantly, the condom can break anytime! So when it does break, and it eventually will, you do not want to directly inject a baby making sized sample of semen into that girl’s vagina when it breaks. If/When it breaks; you don’t want any cum to be exposed to any ovaries.

“You can’t catch STDs if you’re wearing a condom.”

One of the biggest misconceptions there is. Wearing condoms significantly reduce the risk of contracting STD’s, however, they do NOT prevent you from getting them. Crabs, aka cooties, are the lice of the land down under. Those critters should be feared. You can get herpes from going down on a guy or girl, or even just from kissing! I suggest that you stop by our STD page to learn what to look out for … because they’ll getcha!

“Sex education and proper condom use, promotes sexual activity.”

Wrong!!! Studies have been done (somewhere) that showed sex education did not actually increase the number of sexually active people. It did however increase the number of people who were using safe sex practices. To tell you the truth, the more I found out about all the bad stuff that can happen from having sex, the less I felt like doing it. But who are we kidding, we’re all sexual beings. And people are going to do it regardless of the possible consequences. Therefore, I’m all for public education towards safe sex practices … especially during preteen years. The average age that people are starting to have sex has been falling and will likely continue to fall.

“The condom is a foolproof method of birth control. ”

I’m sorry to say it, but the only “foolproof” method of birth control is abstinence. The main reason being that horny guys are dumb. Horny guys think with their penises and not with their brains. The complexities of applying a condom correctly onto a hard-on of a male are far too complex for the average male individual to be foolproof. The problem is that, dicks just want to get wet. A hard-on diverts blood away from the brain and which affects the decision making ability of the individual. As a result, this woody bearing individual begins to act more so on instinct rather than good judgment. Unfortunately when this occurs, you tend to let the penis take the reigns… which is BAD because penises are dumb!

-Dan

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